Gregory Kho Chien Wui
65-82056243
F211, King Edward VII Hall
1A Kent Ridge Road
Singapore 119224
11 February 2011
Shell Eastern Petroleum (Pte) Ltd
Shell House
83 Clemenceau Avenue
Singapore 239920
Dear Sir/Madam,
Application for internship with Shell
I am a Year 1 Engineering undergraduate majoring in Mechanical Engineering at the National University of Singapore (NUS) and will graduate by May in three years’ time. I am interested in the above mentioned internship programme offered by Shell.
Throughout my undergraduate study in NUS, I have been actively involved in extracurricular activities. I was the steering committee in various activities, such as my hall’s annual production and also the Overseas Community Involvement Programme (OCIP). Hence, taking up these leadership positions has enriched my university life and developed many soft skills such as effective time management and good interpersonal communication skills. I learned to handle different situations and also dealt with various people. This has helped me to acknowledge the importance of teamwork. I strongly believe that an internship programme at Shell can broaden my horizons and allow me to acquire more skills.
I hope that my qualifications and leadership skills will render me as an ideal candidate for this internship position offered by Shell. I look forward to hearing your favourable response. Thank you.
Yours faithfully,
Gregory Kho
Enclosure: Resume
I have also attached the link of the job advertisement.http://www.shell.com/home/content/careers/student_graduate/how_do_i_apply/internships/internships_04042008.html
Hi Greg!
ReplyDeleteHere are few language and expression errors which I think you may want to look into (the words in CAPS are the corrections I have done for you).
(1) I was IN THE ORGANIZING committee in various activities HOLDING POSITIONS SUCH AS...
(2)... has enriched my university life and HELPED ME TO DEVELOP many soft skills ...
(3) I HAVE ALSO learned to handle different situations and people ACCORDINGLY.
(4) ALL THEE EXPERIENCES HAVE helped me to REALIZE THAT I DO ENJOY WORKING WITH PEOPLE FROM DIVERSE BACKGROUND AND the importance of teamwork.
(5)I strongly believe that an internship at Shell can HELP broaden my horizons and allow me to FURTHER HONE BOTH MY SOFT AND TECHNICAL skills.
(6) I BELIEVE that my qualifications and leadership skills will render me as an ideal candidate for this internship position offered by Shell.
(7) Dear Sir/Mdm (no comma) and Yours faithfully (no comma)
Yeap, that is about all. Do consider my above suggestions as I believe an application letter should help to exude your confidence of your academic and CCA and also your confidence for this internship position. Thus the strong words that I have used.
Alright, see you in class tomorrow!
Dear Gregory:
ReplyDeleteSince zurong has already point out language. I just write some personal opinion hope will help you.
1)"will graduate by May in three years'time." -no need mention this "in three years' time", it won't helpful.
2)OCIP-I think you could write more details about it. I don't know how to say, but I think yours is a bit too short. You may descibe something in leadership in detail and explain more skills you gain from it.
I am sure you will get this if you are actually applying right now.
All the best! See you in class later! :)
Hi Gregory! Yeap agree with Kitty that your cover letter is quite short. Remember cover letter is like a summary of your resume? So perhaps you could write few significant events from OCIP that displayed your leadership qualities that would helped in your internship?
ReplyDeleteBecause your internship opportunity does not really specify the type of candidates they are looking for, you may want to research the type of job scope (for instance taking projects and real business challenges ) and how your skills or achievement can match up to that?